Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

 

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think, to feel and act better, even if the situation does not change. It is a form of therapy that emphasizes the important role of thinking in how we feel and what we do. CBT aims to help the client to become aware of thought distortions which are causing psychological distress, and of behavioral patterns which are reinforcing it, and to correct them. The therapist will make every effort to understand experiences from the client’s point of view, and the client and therapist will work collaboratively, exploring the client’s thoughts, assumptions and inferences. The therapist helps the client learn to test these by checking them against reality and against other assumptions.

Cognitive-behavioral therapists seek to learn what their clients want out of life (their goals) and then help their clients achieve those goals. The therapist’s role is to listen, teach, and encourage, while the client’s role is to express concerns, learn, and implement that learning.

The goal of therapy is to help clients unlearn their unwanted reactions and to learn a new way of reacting. When people understand how and why they are doing well, they know what to do to continue doing well.

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Believing in Yourself is Crucial for Success

Believe in Yourself!

Reshaping how you see yourself and believing in yourself is crucial for success! We, humans, have a tendency to focus on believing what others say about us instead of believing who we really are. That is how we were programmed, based on our childhood experiences. But, we are not defined by how others see us! And, continuing to believe what others say can hold us back from succeeding in life.

I remember working with one client who was extremely self-sabotaging. She was so unaware of her beauty, inside and out. She was highly-intelligent, beautiful, active, fit, funny, and warm. Yet, she did not recognize any of these qualities. Once she began believing in herself, everything in her life changed for the better! She succeeded at all the things she attempted. This is evidence that believing in yourself is crucial for success. Sometimes we are so off the mark when it comes to how we feel in comparison to how others see us. Most of you wouldn’t treat your worst enemy in the same manner that you treat yourself. Cut yourself some slack and be kinder and gentler.

Are you fairly confident and secure in your own shoes? Do you believe in your abilities and what you have to offer? Or, do you constantly question who you are as a person?  We all have our past, including the experiences that shaped who we are today. If people in your life made hurtful comments over and over, then over time you probably started believing it.  How do you reshape how you see yourself? Are you tired of being overly critical of yourself and your abilities? There is no better time than the present to start believing who you are and what you contribute to those around you. You need to see yourself in a different light and try to replace the negative self-talk with more positive and uplifting dialogue. Make a commitment to yourself to criticize less and accept yourself more.

ACTION STEPS:

1. List your achievements and successes

Make a list of all your achievements. What are you most proud of? Instead of focusing on what you don’t do well, focus on what you have done well. I know that everyone has achieved things in their lives that they should be proud of. Look at this list when feelings of self-doubt begin to arise.

2. Small steps to success

Instead of embarking on large goals that might be difficult to achieve, break them down into smaller tasks. Have a list of smaller goals that you can achieve and feel proud of. By achieving goals you, slowly build up your self-confidence and begin to rely on yourself. Instead of focusing on the 30 pounds you’d love to lose, celebrate two pounds at a time with a pat on your back.

3. Get rid of negative self-talk    

Every time you think negatively about yourself or others, you lower your standards. It is not a very attractive quality to be around someone who is always down on themselves. Start being more aware of your critical voice and replace that voice with positive dialogue. Create an affirmation to “plug” in every time that all-too-familiar voice begins playing in your head.

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