Home

.

I know life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s easy to feel lost and alone, not knowing where to turn for help.  It’s during those times that I am here to offer you support and encouragement, while helping you get through the most difficult time in your life, to facilitate growth and emotional healing, to assist you in resolving issues, regaining control of your life, and providing you with tools to bring about positive change so you can move forward to a more productive, content, and fulfilling life. There are few challenges in life that I haven’t experienced.  Because I can relate to your situation, and understand what you are going through, I will help you overcome obstacles and get past your struggles.  There is no reason for you to go it alone.

Although I work with clients who come to me with issues regarding depression, anxiety, divorce recovery, grief and loss, phobias, and relationships (including premarital counseling), my specialties are PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and domestic violence. I use several life-changing techniques that yield permanent results in a very short time, in overcoming depression, PTSD (which can be caused by any traumatic event), anxiety, fears and addictions. To learn more about the theories I draw from and modes of therapy I use, click on the “Therapies” page (above).

Working through your thoughts and emotions can create a newfound freedom to be who you want to be. Experience the journey to a new life through self-discovery, positive change, emotional healing and growth, with a sense of self-acceptance, self-confidence, empowerment, meaning, direction, and purpose. Allow me to walk along side you on your journey. You deserve to be happy, and I want to help you achieve happiness.  Call now for a free consult, to see how I can help you today.  (720-291-5707)

 

 

booklet-cover06-12-2014-new-life-counseling




  • Just Sign In




Copyright 2014 | All Rights Reserved | Evelyn Barton | email

Recent Posts

Proven Strategies for Releasing Negative Thoughts 

Whether by virtue of our self-imposed stress, propensity for self-blame or the scarcity mentality that keeps us from connecting with our gratitude, negative thinking can be a significant obstacle to our personal development and emotional well-being. Escaping the thrall of our negative thoughts is not simply a matter of putting a brave face on things. Positivity doesn’t just happen — it’s created and as we are the architects of our own reality, that creation is in our hands.

The initial challenge here is to get past the evolutionary and social obstacles that foster our anxiety and fear. The thinking that keeps us rattling around this prison of negativity, however, is the same thinking that can foster our freedom.

The first of several practices for getting past our negative thoughts is to simply not believe what we think. If we identify, or over-identify, with our thoughts, they start having us, rather than us having them. Holding fast to a particular negative belief or belief system, we not only limit ourselves, but mire ourselves in that negativity. For example, should we operate with a poverty mentality, we paralyze ourselves into thinking we will never have enough. Taking a moment to recognize what we do have and then acting to further cultivate that breaks us out of this cycle of negativity. Knowledge is in the thinking; wisdom is in the doing.

It can also serve us to question our reality. When confronted with a negative thought we can take time to ask ourselves three things: “Is it reasonable? Is it rational? Is it reliable?”

Establishing the reasonableness of a thought helps us get some perspective. There is such a thing as a reasonable level of anxiety. When that anxiety blooms into a full-fledged panic simply because we don’t know what’s going to happen, then we’ve likely stepped outside the bounds of that reasonableness.

Next, we need to establish if our thinking is rational. If, for example, we are struggling to make ends meet every month, but the bills are still getting paid, it’s probably not rational to be sitting up for the better part of the night fretting over losing the house or having the car repossessed. If, however, we find ourselves in a place where the bills really aren’t getting paid and our concerns are reasonable, we need to point our rational response at what comes next, rather than creating more internal conflict by fretting over something we may not be able to control.

Finally, we can explore if the thought is reliable. Has it happened before with any degree of consistency? If the answer is no, then it’s quite likely we’re making up a story, rather than responding to a potential.

Another helpful means for sorting out our negative thinking is unpacking our feelings. When our psychophysiological response to a situation passes through the filter of our worldview — our subjective assumptions, expectations and ideas about the way the world works — we experience a conscious feeling. The quality of that feeling is determined by what we are thinking about the situation. For example, if two people are standing at the top of a roller coaster one may be feeling excited, while the other is feeling fearful. Both are experiencing a relatively similar physiological response, but for one that translates into a feeling of anticipation, while for the other it translates into a feeling of apprehension. The difference between the two is how each person is thinking about the experience before them.

Unpacking our feelings can lead us back to the source of our experience and, once we identify what we’re thinking about that experience, we can ask a very simple question: “Why?” What is it about roller coasters that make me fearful or excited? What is it about the envelopes with the little windows or the phone ringing that makes me anxious? Once we find the source, we can label it and then, release it because in identifying the thought, we now control it. It no longer controls us.

An additional technique for releasing negative thinking is to ask ourselves, “What’s the worst possible thing that could happen?” This kind of extreme perspective serves as a foil, giving us a more realistic view of what’s actually in front of us. Scripting a scenario that plays to our greatest anxieties, fears and negativities allows us a certain relativism that can take the charge out of our experience, making it more manageable.

Acknowledging and keeping your mind fixed on what is going right in your life is a great way to divert your attention from the negative thoughts. Praying (asking God to change your thoughts) and keeping your focus on God are also helpful in releasing the negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones.

Once we’ve employed these various techniques for guiding our thoughts, we need to find a means for keeping them corralled. Journaling prompts us to slow down and develop a more balanced sensibility around our larger picture, engaging all of our faculties and senses in organizing our thoughts. Exercise releases endorphins, calming and centering us, which allows us to think more clearly and with greater acuity.

Whichever of these techniques we may choose, our primary focus is on creating a shift of mind that takes us out of our negative headspace and into one that is more positive, or, at least, balanced. We create our experience by virtue of how we are thinking about a particular situation, good, bad or indifferent. What’s important to bear in mind is that if we can think ourselves in, we can always think ourselves out.

  1. Leave a reply
  2. Leave a reply
  3. Leave a reply
  4. Leave a reply
  5. Leave a reply
  6. Leave a reply
  7. Leave a reply
  8. Leave a reply
  9. Affair-Proof Your Marriage Leave a reply